Here are a few of my ideas:
10) Mom! Please get a haircut!
9) Milk for dinner again?
8) I asked you nicely to not dress me in outfits with bears and bunnies. Did you listen to me? Noooooooooooo!
7) I've been a good baby. I promise. Just give me more milk. Please. I swear I won't spit up on you after. Just feed me!
6) Listen to me when I'm talking to you!
5) If I have to cry to get you to hold me I'm calling Child Protective Services myself!
4) I thought I was lucky to be born in America, but daddy tells me there is vodka in Poland.
3) If you think that I'm going to call my grandparents Babcia, Dziadek, Mimi, and Doodah, you've got another thing coming...
2) How can this be? What greeted me upon my entrance into the world? Nine percent unemployment with no end in sight, a real estate crash, and a double-dip recession? Please! I should have just stayed in the womb!
AND LUCAS' NUMBER ONE THOUGHT
1) Don't cry for me Argentina. The truth is I never left you!